节哀顺变！！

I am from Beijing Countryside and came here a couple of years ago. I hear Americans say or Obama talk about "Don't ask, Don't tell". I do not understand what does mean. I should live here long enough.

To no.48 and 50, 1. Please check your English writing before posting. 2. Stop insulting other people using broken English. 3. Who is the loser, God knows. Wish you be successful in the US, but first, please improve your English! 论坛是进行探讨的地方。对发表言论的人进行污辱，漫骂是很沒有修养的表现。每个人都可以有自己的观点意见。成功的人首先应该知道尊重他人。随便骂别人是失败者的人，自己本身很可能就是一个失败者。不多说，祝48楼和50楼 熄怒自律。成功顺便！我相信给别人好的祝福人自己会得益。赌咒别人失败闹不好会反弹到自己身上。

The dog at the 52 floor get out here. This is a place only for human talking!

Stupid Chinese! Shame on you guys for fighting over here!

支持43楼

来得不久。也有近30年了。 需要隐私，这事不要公布。还公开募捐。如没有死者家长的同意和支持，把这件事公开才是最大的侵犯隐私。 如果家长同意募捐一事，又对同胞不公开事实，才是最大的不礼貌！<br><br><br>To answer your question:<br><br>1. Charles may knows more American/Chinese than you even though you stayed here for more than 30 years.&nbsp; Is that possible the family&nbsp;is able to&nbsp;inform everyone he knows?&nbsp; The obituary serves the whole purpose.&nbsp; I don't see anything wrong with it or it intrudes privacy;<br><br>2. I believe they already gave enough facts regarding the ceremony; you can send flower or money according to the instructions.&nbsp; What other facts you&nbsp;need in order&nbsp;to attend this ceremony?<br><br>3. Do you mind to share your health information here with us?&nbsp; Do you consider it is impolite if you don't agree to share?<br>

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I simply can't understand why there are so many people discussing this ... Shame on you for being in US for so long. Have you ever read the AJC metro section?&nbsp; There are obituary information everyday.&nbsp; Have you ever seen any obituary mentions the reason for the death?&nbsp;&nbsp;It's common sense&nbsp;in US.&nbsp; If you don't know, now you should know.&nbsp; It will be funny and impolite if you dare to ask this question.&nbsp; For the ones who can't read English, I don't think it is&nbsp;really necessary to let them know because they will stay in the Chinese community and just let them do whatever.&nbsp; Rest in peace and please don't try to prove your childish simple mind in this post again.&nbsp; It only tells that you will be a loser in US.

18 楼 说得对极了。鼓励和引导孩子有健康的心态面对一切是家长们的责任。痛惜逝者，家人节哀！

我想人家不过是借这个地方发个讣告，为的是通知一下亲朋好友中还不知道的，这和在报纸上发讣告是一样的。从哪儿看出来是号召社区参加告别和捐款了？<br>

The loss of life is so heartbroken for many of us, making us reflect how we could live a meaningful life everyday. I feel so sorry for the family, however, at the same time, just want to speak the fact about the culture I have been aware of. I am not interested in the cause of death at all. I am as busy as everyone. RIP, good nite.

刘畅同学追悼会周六举行<BR><A href="http://www.atlanta168.com/cache/use/article/2014-03/29105.html">http://www.atlanta168.com/cache/use/article/2014-03/29105.html</A><br> &nbsp;<br> Mingyu Gao同学追悼会周五举行<BR><A href="http://www.atlanta168.com/cache/use/article/2014-03/29114.html">http://www.atlanta168.com/cache/use/article/2014-03/29114.html</A><br>

来得不久。也有近30年了。 需要隐私，这事不要公布。还公开募捐。如没有死者家长的同意和支持，把这件事公开才是最大的侵犯隐私。 如果家长同意募捐一事，又对同胞不公开事实，才是最大的不礼貌！

节哀!<br>

听说是突然病逝的。可惜啦！

楼下想问死因的人，你们可能在美国时间不长，或者没有融入美国文化，或者风爪吃多了，还是保留着中国的习惯。&nbsp;再次告诉你们，美国人不会多嘴问死因的，如果主人没有说明。这是起码的礼仪。人家的死因是人家的私事，不必要公布。有教养的中国人跟美国人一样，不多多嘴去问。这不是捐款的问题，这是尊重人家隐私的问题。 从中国来时间不长的，容易保持着吃凤爪过多的毛病，非要打听人家隐私的中国风俗。 <br><br>再次说明，孩子的父母没有要求社区捐献。 美国习俗是公布追悼仪式时候，会说如果有奠仪，花朵，可以送到什么地方，存入什么账户。&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;但这不代表逝者家属要求大家捐献。完全是随意。<br><br>楼下的问死因的人，估计是来美时间不长的。再看跟帖的几个，也是不懂人情世故的。记住，不要拿中国风俗套美国风俗。<br>

My Prayers are with your family. 来美国时间不长，不过也有20年，我所知道的葬礼通常只有亲戚和很熟悉的朋友和同事参加。这种邀请陌生人参加的葬礼虽然很少见到和参加，但参加者想知道逝者的一些信息（如死因）也不算过分。

要求捐款要有一定的理由。我和他的家长是一代人。非常同情他们的遭遇。中国传统是救急不救穷。美国的社区习俗是给弱者捐款或者作对社会和后人有益的事。美国人的孩子如果因病去世，会要求亲朋好友给研究病症的基金或者是医院。如果因非命去世，也有建立一个以孩子名义的奖学金，鼓励与孩子同龄的学生求学上进。许多办这些善事的家长也并不富裕。他们自己也要给研究机构，慈善机构或奖学金之类捐款。以此来纪念早逝的孩子。很少听说美国人要求给早逝孩子的家长捐款的。因为家长再值得同情，他们毕竟不是依靠孩子生活。孩子去世是&#144308;幸的。经济上应该&#144308;会给家长造成巨大困难。只是安葬费用而己。孩子去了，家里不用提供学费生活费。负担反而减轻了。振作起来，以孩子的名义给社会做点好事，才是对孩子在天之灵最好的安慰。 看样这是突然去世，也不说出原因，更没有理由要求捐款。如果是久病不治，经济困难。应该说明才好。

他的父母该是我的同龄人，实在难以想象他们会怎样地心痛！